2/09/25
Every new Sae-ism update takes a year off my lifespan. But this shit, THIS SHIT, I would've never EVER expected. Basically I wake up to this
(ignore the fact that Sae is a reptilian it just happens now) And I'm like: wow the girls are fighting 🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯 this hasn't happened since volume 13, and that was a cool scene, so this update could be interesting... GOOD even????? So I open the chapter. I open the goddamn chapter. And even before translating it I realize.
It's clickbait. Like actual clickbait. Like Mr Beast thumbnails. These two panels aren't even in the same page. They aren't talking to each other. And yet it's edited to look like they are, Tohru LITERALLY opened up fucking photoshop and lined them up HE DID IT ON PURPOSE HE TOOK THE TIME TO EDIT IT LIKE THIS HE TOOK THE TIME TO FUCKING CLICKBAIT US. Sae-ism is NOT a goddamn youtube short it has its DIGNITY. But above all, Sae-ism didn't need clickbait, Sae-ism WAS clickbait. Sae-ism was like if Tohru asked his editor team or whatever the fuck to come up with some clickbait thumbnails for his series, and then he took them all and made them actually happen. Every single chapter. All edge no point, not a moment of stillness. Sae-ism doesn't need clickbaits, its natural state is derangement, drama and intensity. Sae-ism needing clickbait in order to be interesting is like giraffes needing stairs in order to reach treetops. It's a sign that SOMETHING IS TERRIBLY WRONG. How do you even fuck up so bad?
This is an INSULT. Instead of actually writing something interesting, Tohru has decided to take the time to edit a clickbait picture to FOOL US. The man I called DADDY. You changed my LIFE. I poured so many lines of WORDS and CODE over your work. I gave you all the love I was capable of and you repay me with this?? TOHRU YOU ARE DEAD. TO. ME. YOU GODDAMN PIECE OF SHIT I'M GONNA HUNT YOUR FAMILY FOR SPORT YOU FUCKING COJONE DEMMERDA PORCODDIO CHE TE CASCASSERO LE PALLE TE DEVE PIÀ UN COLPO BRUTTAMMERDA VAFFANCULO DIOCANE
Tho after translating it I think it would've been hilarious if they were actually talking to each other
Misao: you tried to murder my parents that was kinda fucked up
Sae: 𝓫𝓪𝓫𝔂 𝓰𝓲𝓻𝓵... 𝓭𝓪𝓭𝓭𝔂𝓼 𝓱𝓸𝓶𝓮 👅⛓️
And the clickbait is the most infuriating thing, but then there's also the fact that the original season one trinity is all reunited here in what's supposed to be a holy occasion but it's so fucking boring. And since when are Ran and Kokai boring?!?!?!?!?! Why does Ran barely talk??? TOHRU WHAT DID YOU DO TO HER?!?! And Kokai suddenly being a wimp is completely out of character. What do you mean "guys be caweful sae is so scawy 🥺" remember when you tried to blow yourself up along with her? What happened to you. He's like a wet piece of cardboard now. I don't even know what to say, they were such lively characters and now they show less emotion than AI chatbots. Tohru is just straight up admitting that he's too scoglionato to put any more effort into what started off as his passion project.
"nobody cares about me or my series 🥺" oh shut up you crybaby scrote. Nobody reads my neocities.org blog either do you think that stops me from posting my schizo mysticism rants and schizo reviews? No. Lock the fuck in. "but cellula this is my job 😭" go suck dicks at the gas station and write manga on the side. There's no excuse for giving up on Sae-ism.
I have to make my own Sae-ism or something holy shit I don't even know how but it would be awesome I swear there would be a deranged mutual obsession arc instead of whatever this is. If we get to 2 likes I'm gonna stage a coup at the Uchimizu household
1/08/25: observation
Hear me out this is crucial okay. Remember how the latest Sae-ism chapter ended with Taicho and Shibako standing in front of the ruins of the Maki family villa and there was this final shot of someone in the dark (I am pointing a gun at your head and you are nodding emphatically) I'm thinking it might be Tazuru. Yeah she died in volume 9 but if you think about it she took a single gunshot which for Sae-ism standards isn't much, also we never saw her body getting disposed of like Madoka. We only saw her laying on the ground all bloody, she could have just gotten up afterwards and walked off. Also it would fit the current scene because Tazuru had beef with Taicho. Yeah it's probably Tazuru because those are her EYESSSS IN THE LAST SHOT WHY DIDN'T I NOTICE THAT EARLIER??? AND IF IT'S TAZURU I'M GONNA HAVE A FUCKING HEART ATTACK I'm gonna remodel my nipples into PEZ dispensers I don't know what I'll fucking do because Tazuru is my favourite Sae-ism character but also since she's my favourite character I don't wanna see her getting ruined by Tohru's awful new writing. Tazuru is MY grandmother. I will personally fly to Japan and maul Tohru with my bare hands if he ruins her. Girl I love you. This is my crazy game theory if it's actually true I'm gonna do something wacky but not too wacky because I'd like to do it for real, like uhhhh I'm gonna publish the library page that I coded but that I didn't like enough to actually publish. Or something idk I'm gonna think about it.
23/07/25
Hello billions of Sae-ism fans I hear you saying "why hasn't our chieftain CELLULA talked about Sae-ism in like weeks" fear not I am here now... well
I can't fucking take this anymore. Every single chapter that comes out is both an insult and a challenge to the enormous heap of quasi-conjugal love I feel for this series. "After finishing this wretched collage of electronic dejection, I will embrace death like a long-lost lover with open arms." Sae-ism sucks. It sucked all along, but it used to suck in a fun way, now it just sucks in an ass way. It sucks so much now that I'm considering NOT publishing the shrine because I do NOT want to be associated with THIS Sae-ism... What happened. Why the downfall. I don't even know. I know it all started with Tohru's switch from analog art to digital art, but of course it's not only an artstyle problem. I can't even say precisely WHAT but something is terribly wrong. Its best quality, according to me, has always been that it is really absurd but it manages to handle itself really, really well. At least in my eyes, it has always been this way. What's happening now is like a distortion of that primary virtue it's like my (number one Sae-ism fan) arch-nemesis, number one Sae-ism hater, has hijacked the series and turned it into a parody of itself. It does NOT handle itself well anymore.
I think I hit the nail on the head when I said that modern Sae-ism is mostly just boredom with some rarefied, abrupt jerks towards extreme absurdity. One critical thing I've noticed is that the pre-flop volumes all have their own individuality, they're all iconic in their own way, distinct things happen in them. If you show me a certain scene I can tell you exactly when it happened. After volume 10 it all blurs together in an indistinct haze of mediocrity. The exact same events are rehashed over and over. The exact same dialogues and lines are rehashed over and over. It is all so fucking boring, soulless and predictable and then Tohru has a moment of terminal lucidity where he realizes that his series is meant to be absurd and fun so he stumbles to put something in place but it is TOO absurd and ridiculous and out of place in the barren wasteland of the modern series, whereas the absurd things that happened in the TRUE and HONEST old Sae-ism were in context, because they were not placed in the middle of boredom and nothingness?? So demented plot points are dropped out of nowhere like bombs in the desert, like the fact that Tendo was a child soldier orphan ninja killer in the middle east or this time the fact that Sae is in possession of an ancient roman cursed double strap-on that also gives her superpowers when she practices tantric meditation? I have problems with this look it MIGHT have been right at home in the old Sae-ism but Tohru boy you can't get away with dropping this out of nowhere when your manga for the past 6 volumes has been just this THIS IS WHAT SAE-ISM HAS BEEN LIKE FOR THE PAST 6 VOLUMES
placebo - every you every me (0.01kbps)
Sae: hello I'm Sae like the title and I'm like super crazy and obsessed with Misao also I'm totally insane and crazy and I'm gonna do bad stuff because I'm super evil and crazy
Misao: wtfff I don't like you this is like super mean and crazy
Sae: I don't care because I'm so evil and crazy and I do bad stuff because like I'm evil and I am also super crazy and like I don't care because I'm soo mean
[insert any other character here]: did you see that guys that was soooo mean what the fuck!! That was so mean and evil like she's totally insane we have to stop her guys
Sae: I don't care about you either because I'm like super evil and mean and I'm gonna do whatever I want because like I'm so mean
[insert any other character here]: oh my god this is sooo mean and like that was such a rude thing to do and she's also like totally crazy and insane and crazy this is soooo crazy guys
Kai: no guys nooo she's kinda cool and like she's misunderstood and nice because I talked to her that one time
[insert any other character here]: no because she's like super insane and crazy and also she's like super evil and mean because she's doing all this bad stuff so we have to stop her so she won't do all this bad evil stuff anymore
Sae: I love you
Misao: I don't
Sae: I don't care
Misao: that is sooo mean like wtf
Sae: yeah because I'm like super evil and stuff and also I'm crazy and I do bad things
[insert any other character here]: that was sooooo rude you shouldn't do that because it's mean and insane and it's also bad guys we have to stop her from doing bad things and being mean and crazy
Misao: it's okay I'm gonna girlboss my way out of this even though I've already had 5 badly written character arcs in the past 5 volumes that have changed nothing about me
Sae: I have increasingly bigger houses
[insert any other character here]: okay so we're gonna do um like a plan or something to break into the building and rescue Misao from Sae because she's like so evil and crazy and like why does she do that??? She's so insane and evil smh
Sae: this isn't gonna work because I'm also super cool and smart and I'm super hot and talented but I'm also really evil and insane but also I'm really resourceful and smart so you can't defeat me
[insert any other character here]: nooo that didn't work because she's super smart and cool and also super evil and she's like a genius but she's also really bad and mean nooo we'll get you next time Sae
Kokai: I'm a background prop and sometimes I jump over things
Ran: I'm also a background prop and I think that Sae is super evil and mean wtffff she's also super insane and crazy because she does all this insane stuff and like it's bad
Shibako:
meaningless side character: hello I'm meaningless side character and I'm gonna be here for about 5 chapters and then either disappear or die. I am given more screen time than the main cast
THAT'S IT!!!!! THAT'S WHAT THE SERIES HAS BEEN FOR THE PAST VOLUMES I can't take it anymore it's driving me crazy I used to be in love with this series and now you're making me embarassed over liking it in the first place???? WHY WHY ME your biggest most devoted fan Tohru why are you doing this what made you go insane what made you stray so far. I mourn the fact that the series is gonna end this way the ending is gonna SUCK like everything else Tohru has been putting out. NOOOOO season one already got the terrible ending you had to make up for it Tohru, you had to make up for it!!! It's too late. Sae-ism is gone. I'm gonna read it until the end though because it's like if your wife got dementia and you have to stick around because of the duties of holy matrimony. I'm gonna see the bitter end of this. Sae-ism I miss you. Come back as you were.
08/05/25: volume 16 cover reveal
Tohru, STOP IT.
How did you manage to fuck up so bad both the cover for volume 15, AND the cover for volume 16. How COULD you? WHY, WHY ARE YOU ACTING LIKE THIS. YOU ARE BREAKING MY HEART, TOHRU. Why does it look so fucking bad and soulless. What the fuck is happening to him? Is the talent leaving his body, or does he REFUSE to make something that looks good ever again? Hits even harder because he's doing like a contest thing right now (I want a fucking autographed Sae-ism volume too it's not fair) and he's doing pen drawings for the occasion and he said "I've gotten so used to digital manuscripts that it's easy to make corrections, that I can't draw analog illustrations at all..." THAT IS FUCKING HEARTBREAKING. I remember, not so long ago, when I was stalking the entirety of his decade-long twitter activity, I reached a certain time in 2020 when he switched from analog drawing to digital drawing. It was volume 9.... and it all clicked! THAT's why it lost its charm!!! At least visually. That's why it looks so soulless now!! And in the tweets from the years before, he bragged SO OFTEN about still drawing analogically. Being an analog artist was his entire personality. How, how did this happen... Our Father, why, why in your heavenly wisdom did you decide to make the switch... And many other things changed for the worse at about the same time he made it. I swear I remember a time when you didn't just blatantly put your kinks in the manga, Tohru. Father, Why Have You Forsaken Us? Now we get things like... this. My theory is that in the first drawing program he bought or something idk there was a demon that beguiled him, and that now feeds off his talent. O mia Sae-ism sì bella e perduta!
"I was drawing this cover in late March, and I was in the worst shape of my life.
I was having abdominal pain and bleeding about 15 times a day so I couldn't go out anywhere, I was afraid to eat because I always had abdominal pain when I ate, and furthermore, I had a ureteral stone that had nothing to do with the colitis and I had to go to the emergency room..."
It fucking shows, Tohru. Remake it.
It's insane because I KNOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW THAT YOU CAN STILL DO GOOD THINGS I KNOW THAT YOU'VE STILL GOT IT IN YOU TOHRU and the proof is Sae the tenth??? Lately my sleep schedule is fucked because vacation is over and I still have to adjust, and every night I eventually start thinking a lot about Sae the tenth. She's just such a good character I swear.
I wonder if the series' recent "bareness" is just an inevitable consequence of seeing behind Sae's facade, so to speak; if the series' recent lifelessness reflects Sae's recently revealed, inner lifelessness. Of course I know it's not intentional - it's just funny to think about things like that. To Sae the ninth's chaotic, irrational violence corresponded a chaotic, irrationally violent season one. To (pre-backstory and everything) Sae the tenth's fickle and eccentric behaviour and covert villainous schemes corresponded an unpredictable season two full of twists and turns. And now we get this. It's like the gay baron said at the end of season one. The series prospers with Sae...
TRUE and HONEST volume 15 and 16 covers (extremely high effort)
And I'm gonna keep fucking doing this until he comes back to his senses
25/03/25
I...... need some time to develop an opinion on the new Sae-ism chapter.
I don't know if it's a genius revival of the original Sae-ism quidditas that I invoked, or the biggest load of bullshit that's ever been written. The line is very, very thin, anyways.
I....... don't know what to think.
Yes, I made an update just for this.
(expanding on the same chapter:) Even Tohru wtf he just got hospitalized, for a month he won't be able to slave away in his lonely dark room to produce yuri for my enjoyment. Jk it's okay I hope his anus gets better, at least he can rest at the hospital. I find it hilarious though that the last thing he gave us before going away for a month was the bombshell that was the last chapter. Like IT WAS SOMETHING FOR SURE. That's my Sae-ism. The only thing I feel like saying with firmness for now is: does Tohru KNOW that double strap-ons EXIST, IN THE REAL WORLD? Like there was no need to make up an ancient roman cursed artifact, they're literally up on the internet, you can find them on lovehoney, you can buy them and have them delivered to your home. Of course I know that if it was a normal double strap-on instead of an ancient roman cursed double strap-on it wouldn't be Sae-ism, but I really got the feeling that Tohru doesn't know that they exist in real life. Like I bet he thought that he was making up something so SHOCKING. Boy you're late to the party........ This is also obviously very outlandish and noteworthy, and I should certainly mention it in my analysis of Sae the tenth, I think I already know the gist of what to write, but..... I don't know if I'll be able to talk dead-seriously about the ancient roman cursed double strap-on. I have limits too: incredible, I know. (And limits are meant to be broken!)
27/01/25
New Sae-ism chapter came out a motherfucking week ago but I haven't translated it yet, AM I A DEADBEAT WIFE?????? It's just that it looks so fucking abysmally BORING. Apart from the 5 pixel wide shot of Tazuru which is epic. The lobotomizing normie commercial new artstyle and the fucking REDRAWS OF SCENES WITH TENDO FROM THE PAST VOLUMES, THEY MAKE UP HALF THE FUCKING CHAPTER, STOPPPPPP TOHRU'S ALSO DONE THIS WITH SAE DURING HER WHOLE BACKSTORY DUMP, BUT WITH SAE IT'S OKAY, BECAUSE SAE IS OBVIOUSLY ICONIC. SAE. SAE-ISM. I KNOW I SAID OVER AND OVER THAT TENDO IS AN ICONIC KING, BUT SAE IS WAY MORE ICONIC, SHE'S IN THE FUCKING TITLE AND SHIT. THIS CHAPTER IS...... IT'S JUST REDRAWS, IF I WANTED TO REREAD THE PAST VOLUMES I WOULD'VE DONE THAT ON MY OWN, THERE WASN'T A NEED FOR THIS CHAPTER........ Also Tendo is actually DEAD for REAL this time, which is massively fucking sucky like I already said. I am making all of these judgements just by looking at the drawings; I haven't translated the text yet, maybe something revolutionary was said, maybe Tendo looked at the reader dead in the eyes and said "I have a dildo in my ass right now" or something but I really doubt it. I can also see that the chapter ends with a shot of Sae's castle implying that we're gonna get to the Sae and Misao part which OF COURSE is the MAIN THING and it's usually GREAT.... USUALLY...... I AM SCARED BECAUSE I CAN'T DECIDE IF THE CASTLE THING IS A STRONZATA OR NOT, AND I HAVE NO FAITH AT ALL THAT TOHRU WILL HANDLE THIS PROPERLY AND AS GOOD AS PAST VOLUMES. DON'T KILL SAE-ISM NOOOOOOOOOOOOO
??/01/25
In the new Sae-ism chapter why is Tendo thinking about dead men while doing backshots? So we patched his heterosexuality in this update? It's over he's healed guys
??/12/24 (that one chapter where Tendo is revealed to have been a a child soldier orphan ninja killer in the middle east)
GUYS SAE-ISM BBBBBBBYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE it's over we're not making it out the flop era volume 12 was a death sentence WHAT IS THIS??????? 😭 in the new chapter there wasn't Kai, it was something even worse, which is something I NEVER thought I'd say......... I have no clue what to say or even think about the fact that Tohru made Tendo out to be a child soldier orphan ninja killer in the middle east. (I am not taking the piss out of you, dear Sae-ism non-reader.) Let's start with the obvious fact that he didn't NEED a backstory he's just a weird ass guy who uses a lot of conditioner, and this is something that I've also said in my drafts for the shrine about volume 12 and Taicho: not everyone needs a tearjerking dramatic anime backstory (that's something that is very fucking annoying about the newer volumes). But aside from that... it sounds like a fanfiction I'd write on day three of meth psychosis. The main reason why I fell in love with Sae-ism is that it often gets (got...) way over-the-top and excessively dramatic and "tacky" like I've said, but in a way that is seamless and perfect, and the laugh that all that drama would normally tear out of you is not one that mocks, it's one that approves. But this is something I'd see in a dream while suffering acute fever from meningitis. You're telling me that his goofy ass was a child soldier orphan ninja killer in the middle east. Is this it? Is this the peak? Have we finally found the boiling point at which the series that I loved for being a hot mess splatters hot burning acid all over? I don't know what to think about this WHAT SHOULD I SAY 😭😭😭😭😭😭 Maybe I should get USED TO IT????? I DON'T KNOW, JUST LIKE I THINK TOHRU DOESN'T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK HE'S DOING he's had a colonoscopy without anesthesia lately, maybe the pain caused his brain to release so many endorphins that he reached an altered state where he conceived this, or more probably the doctors pulled this backstory out of his ass. I don't watch anime or read manga lately apart from this, are batshit insane things like this to be expected?????? Tendo was a child soldier orphan ninja killer in the middle east. He's also had the same haircut since he was 13, that must be some pretty powerful gel he's using. Though I ADMIT this thing about his name being stolen from the other kid is interesting, I want to see how it develops. But he's still being a child soldier orphan ninja killer in the middle east. And this is not even a very serious character we're talking about, like Taicho. This is about Tendo's gay, haircare-addicted ass. And now he's seriously gonna die this is genuine he's genuinely dead this time, because this is in the exact same style as Tazuru's end-of-life backstory dump. Tendo's dead, first they killed his homosexuality, then they made him a child soldier orphan ninja killer in the middle east, and now he's seriously dead. First they killed his character then him directly. And I'm MOURNING.... he was the ONLY new character (introduced after volume 10) that I liked. He was an icon... He was a legend... And he was the moment. When his orphan child soldier backstory is done, we will never see his glossy beautiful hair again. I'll miss him so much HE WAS DECENT. HE WAS KIND TOWARDS SAE WHY WOULD YOU KILL HIM who will doordash groceries to Sae's disney castle now? He can't be killed HE CAN'T BE KILLED THE ONLY DECENT POST-VOLUME-10 CHARACTER DON'T LEAVE ME HERE WITH THE OTHERS I will never forgive nor forget this.
??/10/24: (that one chapter where Tendo is revealed to be straight)
I need to report about a great tragedy. Yesterday new Sae-ism chapter came out and jumpscared me, I wasn't even expecting it, Tohru didn't warn us. And it was like GOOD BUT I COULDN'T EVEN CARE FOR THE PLOT TWIST AND SHIT BECAUSE THE WORST, LEAST EXPECTED THING HAPPENED??? TENDO IS STRAIGHT.
NO HE'S NOT????? HE'S NOT....... I am in denial I can't get over this. He CANNOT be straight. 1) When he appeared he was a fucking twink 2) Generally how can you draw him looking like THAT acting like THAT dressing like THAT with his hair like THAT and then make him straight. SERIOUSLY TOHRU MUST HAVE CHANGED HIS MIND IN MID-COURSE OR SOMETHING BECAUSE I REMEMBER HOW HE WENT DRESSED TO THAT FUCKING HOSPITAL..... I REMEMBER THE FURSUIT I DOOOOOOO you don't understand he had to be gay, I saw through his eyes and right into his DNA... he uses conditioner... he respects women...
This is a PLOT HOLE. A PLOT HOLE. SORRY BUT IT ISN'T POSSIBLE AT ALL... IT'S UNACCEPTABLE. ALSO WHAT IS A STRAIGHT MAN DOING IN THE YURI WHY... IT'S NOT THE VIBE STOP!!!!!!!!!!!! I was in such a heavy state of shock that I found it the biggest twist of the chapter even with Yuki doing her thing poisoning people AND Tendo's weird line of dialogue at the end, which suggests that.... uhhhhh.... I don't know I don't get it..... he's gonna change identity? He's gonna like pretend to be dead? I think it's that, but what's he gonna do then? Come back under a different name? But everyone's gonna recognize him by his luscious locks it would never work WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN like that one time in the hospital his idea of disguise was putting on sunglasses (inside a hospital) and a fucking face mask, while dressing like a fucking freakshow. Everyone would recognize him by his spectacular flowing mane he can't just hide that OH MY GOD IS HE GONNA PUT ON A WIG???? YOU CAN'T FUCKING DO THAT YOU CAN'T TAKE AWAY HIS GAY AND HIS HAIR THAT'S COMPLETE FUCKING CHARACTER ASSASSINATION,..,... Anyways I can't tell where this is going. At all. Is he leaving and never coming back? But that would make no sense, setting up his character and all, only to have him disappear. That's not going to happen for sure, and he specifically talked about erasing his name or like shit idk.
